I am filled with you

I am filled with you at all times and in all spaces
I just forget.

I get carried away with the world outside you and me.
I am addicted to others,
When my happiness is here with you.

I run from you because you show me the habits that edge you out
Eating, drinking, doing, and so-called love.

I ache for you
But I think I ache for him
He, who exists only in my mind.

I am sad because I have pushed you away
I feel empty or angry, starving for your closeness.

I seek solutions in books and healers, and gurus.
When the solution is knowing, remembering, touching you, inside me.

I wish to belong, to be recognized, to be accepted,
Feel that my journey towards you is useless to the world,
Is without value, is indulgent.

Yet it is sacred work, a sacred journey
That I begin
And perhaps, one day, lead
Through art, through healing, through nature, through love.

I only have to align my thoughts
I only hurt because I have excluded you.

My emptiness is illusion,
Because I am filled with you.